Unsent email to Mr Whale.

Dear Mr Whale,

I hope you are doing fine while reading this unsent email. I'm pretty sure that you never knew the existence of this email. Right? However, here you are reading the email that I was supposed to send to you, but I chose not to .

It has been 3 years since the email confession accident took place. Yet, the memories are still in my mind, and I keep replaying them over and over again, saying what if and what if. Just revisit the email that you sent to me. Yes, I still keep it despite the harsh words you said to me, and yeah, I'm that kind of person- the one who still remembers the unnecessary things that only cause pain in my heart.

TBH,I never planned to confess my feelings to you, because I know there is nothing I can do even if I confess them. For example, just in case, you accept my feeling  at that moment, then what? Are we going to be a couple and if yes, then how certain is it that you are going to be my husband? Therefore, there was no point in confessing, it was just the urge from the nafs. Plus, when I decided to send the confession email to you was actually the time where my hormone surge- which combine with my nafs and resulting me to click the sent button. Only if, just only if. Gmail has an 'unsend' button, maybe this thing won't happen.

But if you ask me, do I regret all these things? My answer is no because there is no point in regretting things that have already happened. Besides, everything happens for a reason, and maybe this experience will help me become better in the future. As for the painful feeling after being rejected by you, I treat it as a consequence of my actions and try to view it from a different perspective.

Just in case you actually read this unsent email. I just want to tell you that I'm thankful for your rejection, even though it was quite painful to accept it at first. I believe that it is Allah's will and  the inspiration to respond that way is also from HIM. Last but not least, I hope you will find a good future spouse and be able to have a great life with your own family. May Allah always shower you with blessings.

Until then take care and stay healthy.